Empty and Lonely.
I was always alone even though I was continuously surrounded by party's, friends, family, food, drinks, fun, money, fashion, cars - I felt unfulfilled, without reason to exist. Every day I had no idea why I was a live and why I existed. Even family members could not get close enough to comfort me. It felt like I was in a well nourished dry spring. But, it was the well nourished spring that made me feel like the desert more and more. Like the money, friends, family, fun, all looked like it was the thing to have to live, yet they kept draining me more and more each day.
Friday, January 16, 2009
How I Realized I Need Jesus
I had tried every thing but the Bible.
Sex, drugs, witchcraft, friends, money, solitude, "love" from people, work, school, business of my own = you know the line - "it all failed my soul"
Still yearning for a purpose, and a reason to exist I expressed this to my mother and sister on 2006 Christmas eve, and my sister says to me "this is exactly how I felt before I found God". That statement bugged me - I said "God"- well that's one I've never tried. And I picked up the Bible and began to read that God is Love and there is not one drop of malice in Him. He loves me above comprehension and wants to take me in and hold me, make my burdens of life lighter - He wants to carry it for me and walk with me every day, every minute and talk to me and love me and just be my best friend. Every piece of loneliness, unloved feeling, confusion, fear of all things fell off me completely since then. So,now, I've never been empty, lonely, and in that desert again no matter what I have, and don't have.
Sex, drugs, witchcraft, friends, money, solitude, "love" from people, work, school, business of my own = you know the line - "it all failed my soul"
Still yearning for a purpose, and a reason to exist I expressed this to my mother and sister on 2006 Christmas eve, and my sister says to me "this is exactly how I felt before I found God". That statement bugged me - I said "God"- well that's one I've never tried. And I picked up the Bible and began to read that God is Love and there is not one drop of malice in Him. He loves me above comprehension and wants to take me in and hold me, make my burdens of life lighter - He wants to carry it for me and walk with me every day, every minute and talk to me and love me and just be my best friend. Every piece of loneliness, unloved feeling, confusion, fear of all things fell off me completely since then. So,now, I've never been empty, lonely, and in that desert again no matter what I have, and don't have.
The Difference Jesus Has Made in My Life
Notice = the title is "the difference" that Jesus has made NOT the difference "I" made *****
From the way I talk to the way I think to the way I see things He has completely transformed, changed, and made it all new. No longer does this worlds way and system make sense because I know now what is eternal, forever, and true. I no longer aim for today or till the day I die but now I aim my goals, and way of living for eternity. No longer do I have to try to be perfect because the only Ones opinion that matters has excepted and loves me as I am. No more fearing people no mater when, were because I know who made them and who can break them - it is my Father in Heaven - I don't fear the economy, and I don't fear death because I know who is the source of the world and that same Person - God Almighty - is my source and I also know where I am going no mater what happens to me on this earth - I'm going home - to my Heavenly Father because of what Jesus did 2000 years ago!!!!
From the way I talk to the way I think to the way I see things He has completely transformed, changed, and made it all new. No longer does this worlds way and system make sense because I know now what is eternal, forever, and true. I no longer aim for today or till the day I die but now I aim my goals, and way of living for eternity. No longer do I have to try to be perfect because the only Ones opinion that matters has excepted and loves me as I am. No more fearing people no mater when, were because I know who made them and who can break them - it is my Father in Heaven - I don't fear the economy, and I don't fear death because I know who is the source of the world and that same Person - God Almighty - is my source and I also know where I am going no mater what happens to me on this earth - I'm going home - to my Heavenly Father because of what Jesus did 2000 years ago!!!!
How I Committed My Life to Jesus
It took me a while to realize that Jesus is the Son of God and that He is my Savior - the One Who redeemed me of all my sins so I can enter the courts of God boldly as the Word says.
But, when I realized it is Jesus' life, crucifixion, death, and resurrection that set me free from the coil and entanglement of sin, death, and the empty way of life handed down to us by our forefathers I bowed my knees to Him.
Yes, the trip has not been peaches, but, booyy, I tell you I have lived more fully and amazingly each day since I met Him, accepted Him and gave Him my life. I have lived 23 years without Him and only lived with Him in my heart and life only 2 years, and I have lived more in the past 2 years then in the 23 years of my life without Him !!!! I can only imagine what the next 10 years, 20 years...... will be like.... I believe Powerful !
But, when I realized it is Jesus' life, crucifixion, death, and resurrection that set me free from the coil and entanglement of sin, death, and the empty way of life handed down to us by our forefathers I bowed my knees to Him.
Yes, the trip has not been peaches, but, booyy, I tell you I have lived more fully and amazingly each day since I met Him, accepted Him and gave Him my life. I have lived 23 years without Him and only lived with Him in my heart and life only 2 years, and I have lived more in the past 2 years then in the 23 years of my life without Him !!!! I can only imagine what the next 10 years, 20 years...... will be like.... I believe Powerful !
The Past two months
Happy new year to all - 2009 is definitely a new year with a new beginning,,, this year definitely feels different then any other year... it feels like something new and exciting is about to take place - life feels more exciting and real this year... I feel like I'm floating on clouds...
Well - I know I have not been keeping up with my blog,,, which I now solemnly promise to do so beginning with this month ...
I've got soooo much to say, soooo much to share.... so much to express.... wait and see and try to keep up
Well - I know I have not been keeping up with my blog,,, which I now solemnly promise to do so beginning with this month ...
I've got soooo much to say, soooo much to share.... so much to express.... wait and see and try to keep up
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